shite slide show

I could pretend that last night went well and that I made a good job of describing the film, my experience and passions. But it didn’t. Or I didn’t. I had cobbled together a slide show from my last couple of films so folk could have something to see and because I didn’t want to talk for ten nimbuses. But it just went on and on and for some fucking reason (mainly because it was exactly the right length) I stuck Hushabye flipping Mountain under the Our Ordered Lives slides which made it look like a bad episode of Home and Away.

I met a some great lasses who want to work on WE SHADOWS. And the angel lady – that’s how I remember “Gabriella”- told me about her great SS feature idea (Shakespeare’s Sister not The Gestapo). And beautiful Alice who looks like she has just stepped out of a water nymph painting but smokes roll ups and swears (good combo) illuminated me as to the importance of the crowdfunder video. And now I’m really afraid. I need to get Toby in a room with a camera but he’s so busy  I can’t even get him on the phone just now. Pippa is filming in Sheffield. Perhaps I’ll just post this photo of her instead, with a bit of Ken Burns effect … and then just get Bernadette Russell to do an impersonation of Toby. I can only do Steve McQueen so that’s no good.


I also tripped and fell outside the venue on the way in and – as my mate’s mam says – “I fell me length”. In retrospect I can see how this may have been the Film God doing a bit of foreshadowing as they say in story land. I shall try and pay a bit more attention to small things that occur and read meaning into trivia. Because that’s absolutely not the first sign of madness.

Lent Count: I didn’t have any fags. I didn’t have any biscuits. It is NOT making me a better person.





According the last night’s Archers it is now Lent. And due to a couple of incidents that may or may not have happened yesterday (they happened) I have decided to give up 1)  FAGS and 2) SUGAR. Here’s why.

First off. A painful trip to the dental hygienist who has become particularly aggressive of late and loves to tell me all about how if I don’t get into my massive gum pockets with the floss, them pockets will get bigger. And bigger. Now those of you who know me will be unsurprised to hear I do not want anything getting bigger in my mouth. There’s far too much massive stuff in there already (c.f. a seventies racing horse of your choice). By the time I was swilling the blood out she asked if I still smoked? No, I lied. And are you flossing every day? Yes I lied. The only other relevant and shaming question she didn’t ask was: would you ever consider making an entire batch of raspberry buns at 10.30 pm and then eating them all yourself?

Which brings me to the second thing that happened IMG_1761Making an entire batch of raspberry buns at 10.30 pm and then eating them all myself.

Ah I just remembered a third thing. I went bra shopping.